Last weekend I went to a family wedding. A family member performed the ceremony and it was one of the best I have ever listened too. While listening to the ceremony, I was hit in the gut by one sentence and the words are in this picture. They have been on my mind pretty often since. It has had me thinking; What is a “good” woman?, What is a “good” man?, and most of all, What does loving someone actually mean?.
Well, we all know I haven’t had the best luck on love but I think it is because I looked at it wrong. Here is what I used to think, love was what someone else did to me or for me. Like the words he said or the things that he did.
Here is what I think love is now, it is, in many ways, like the love we have for our children. Love to me is just what these words say. Me loving someone whether be friend, family, or a partner, is me wanting to be the best I can be for them. Loving them is me wanting their needs met, giving them my loyalty and protection, and not expecting more than I can give. I can’t change them and they can’t change me but we can support each other in our journey.
Time is the most precious gift I have and if I quit giving my most precious gift to someone I say I love, I guess that would mean I need to rethink my commitment. The other night at dinner at a restaurant, I sat there watching how many couples sitting together were on their phones and hardly talked to each other. I hate that and hate it being done to me more. My mom has had a rule about no cell phones at the table, I used to hate it and now it makes perfect sense. I actually just called her to apologize for all the times I sent the message to her that she wasn’t important because she was giving me her undivided attention and I was giving mine to a phone. I think the same is true of our relationships. In a world filled with work, children, and everyday life, why wouldn’t I want to put down the phone for a hour and send the message, you’re important to me. It is the little things that count. Any fool can say I love you, but it is the little things that the fool does that show you they mean it.
My commitment to those I love will change from here on out. I will put down the phone for meals and our talks. I will call more and call without purpose. Most of all, I will work harder to not just say I love you but to start makin sure you can feel it.